Thursday, February 25, 2010

How to Strengthen the Church One Believer At A Time!

Whether you have been serving Jesus for decades, or if you find yourself new to the faith you can help strengthen the church as a whole. Over the years I have realized there are some common threads that runs through vibrant, healthy, growing churches. And, I believe if the individual believer can implement these five pillars they will strengthen themselves...thus strengthening the local church...which strengthens the body of Christ.

There are Five Pillars of Strength every beliver should practice, and every local should offer to those involved. Teach these principles and watch what happens!

PILLAR I: Prayer! Prayer is where we tap into the power of God. Act 2 the disciples gathered in the Upper Room...the power of God falls...thousands come to Christ! Prayer brings power!

PILLAR II: Worship! Worship is the time we most often encounter Gods presence. Scripture declares that God lives in the praises of His people. Worship helps develop intimacy with God.

PILLAR III: Word! Faith is built as we learn the Word of God! Get in the Word on a regular basis.

PILLAR IV: Fellowship! We need each other! I have found that healthy churches create opportunities to develop healthy Christian relationships.

PILLAR V: Involvement! God has given each of us a gift that we may utilize to serve within the body of Christ. Every believer should be involved in some aspect of the ministy of the local church.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Adultry & Abuse ... part 2

Wow...time slipped away. Been crazy busy, but productive. I wanted to allow myself the opportunity to make a few more remarks in regards to the serious topics of adultry and abuse.

My last blog dealt with issues of adultry. Now I would like to make a few comments regarding abuse.

Abuse is a real problem in many relationships today. This is intended as a marital topic, but abuse effects children, elderly people, the dating relationship, employee relations, and the list could go on.

Ephesians 5 tells us to "love our wives like Christ loved the church" and for "wives to respect their husbands". That's hard to do when abuse enters the picture. I have seen many marriages end at the hands of adultry, and I have seen too many spouses suffer torment at the hands of an abuser for years.

Abuse is not just physical! But, lets start there...I say it loud and proud...your not much of a man if you beat a woman! Unfortunately, culture has come to a place where many women are the agressors. I have literally seen guys cry at the thought of facing his wifes abusive wrath. If there is physical abuse in your marriage...you must seek help and safety. There is no justifiable reason for you to allow physical abuse to continue. Even if it means removing yourself from the same home...filing restraints...whatever...do not let someone continue to torment you through acts of violence.

Some people are feeble from years of mental or emotional abuse handed out to them by the one who claims to love them. Lying, manipulating, insecure, jealous, control freaks will often fall into this category. If you suffer mental and emotional abuse its probably because you are married to someone who is mentally unstable. Mental abuse can lead to physical torment!

Verbal abuse is as cruel as any abuse discussed. Women are called fat, unattractive, whores, sluts, worthless, b*@#h, and more defeating words by their insanely abusive husbands. Men are ridiculed, put down, disrespected, lied to, lied about at the hands of their darling wives. I have seen so much verbal abuse that it angers me to even write about it.

Sexual abuse can and does happen within the marriage. This sort of abuse is very diverse. On one hand, it can be a woman who deprives her husband of sex until she gets what she wants...new car, checkbook, new clothes, jewelry...or she may incorporate the lack of sex into her mental abuse. On the other hand, is a man who may be so animalistic in his sexual desires that he will force unwanted sex on his spouse. Or, make her do things she doesn't want to do with him and sometimes with others.

I have heard some horror stories over the years. Beautiful women neglected by men and made to feel ugly...good men taken advantage of by deceptive women. By remaining with an abusive spouse only enables them to continue in their abusive ways. Until the abused begins to resist there will not be any sort of wholesome change. Please don't think you are doing them or God a favor by staying with them! If you are being abused in any way here are some practical steps:

1. If you fear for your safety (and the safety of others) you must expose their abuse by getting the proper authorities involved.

2. If necessary, move out until they get the help they need! God can help those who abuse others, but they must seek the help they need!

3. Get professional counselling and encourage your spouse to do the same. Get the medical community involved as meds can really work at times! A counselor can help you develop a plan.

4. Do not allow yourself to feel sorry for the abuser..they feed on that sort of thing...its giving them the upper hand. You can be compassionate without being an enabler! Be courageous stick to your plan!

5. Reconciliation must include long term (years) accountability. Forgiveness can and should be granted, but trust must be earned!

I am not a counselor, but there are times I wish I could have just told people get out of that marriage before someone gets killed...namely you! I have never encouraged divorce, and I hope I never do! But, the longer I am in ministry...the more abuse I observe...the more my opinion has become that you do not have to stay and allow the abuser to destroy who you are. The problem is...those who are abused as children will often gravitate towards abusive spouses (especially women).

If you are in an abusive relationship...seek safety and the help of others. I hope this helps.

In Christ,
Mike

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Adultery & Abuse ... part 1

This past week I shared a message about building marital trust. As always time slipped away and there were some thoughts I wanted to work in but just never found the angle. So, I thought I should at least blog about them because there are people who are suffering through some nearly impossible situations in their marriages.

I guess being in ministry for over 20 years has made me keenly aware of marital problems brought on by both adultery and abuse. Obviously, scripture teaches us that divorce can be granted in the case of marital infidelity. On the other hand, I have not found it so cut and dry when dealing with abuse. Abuse is in direct violation of Ephesians 5:22-33 and will make it difficult to have true peace in the home. In today’s blog, I want to reach out to those who are in marriages that have been scarred by the wounds of unfaithfulness and malicious acts.

Let me start with adultery. That's easy to identify. When either the husband or the wife has sex with another person that is adultery. And most of the time ends in divorce! Adultery is probably the most painful thing I have had to walk people through in my 40 years of living. The person you love the most on the planet...surrenders the most intimate act God has given to a couple to another person. What an act of betrayal!

I have found it just as painful for both men and women. Men suffer because their tough, macho image is now at risk. Men view sex differently than women. Guys are aroused by sight and the build up of testosterone. They need affirmation that they are the king of the jungle. And much like a lion, they feel utter defeat when another male lion enters their territorial marks. Men want to know they are big enough (sorry for the blatant honesty) and good at what they do.

Husbands have heart breaking questions that they have to have answered when adultery occurs. I have heard men ask...Where? How often? What was he like? Did you orgasm? Was he better than me? Was he bigger than me? To be honest, in every conversation I have had with a man who has been cheated upon the last question seems to come up. I am not saying it's the main issue, but in the male mind it is an attempt to regain the male macho image of himself. He usually brings it up jokingly.

Men don't deal with the emotional effects of adultery very well. The image of his wife having sex with another man is absolute torment. The respect their wives are commanded to give by scripture has been thrown out the window. Honestly, its usually emotional reasons why women cheat. Not enough attention at home, no sense of security, a lack of verbal communication, sex is just sex...it's not love making...no caressing...no foreplay...no real intimacy...just take your clothes off because it's what I want, selfish maleness.

I have found when a woman cheats the marriage is usually over because she has lost respect for her husband and felt it's time to move on. On the other hand, women handle the news of unfaithfulness different than men. As I said before, men and women both hurt tremendously, but they handle things entirely different. Unlike the man who will totally collapse and the world will know. Women seem to hold the moment of confrontation to a more private moment. She may cry in private until she and her husband can mutually stop long enough to put all the cards on the table.

The emotional issues surface first. Unlike the man...a wife wants to know what she did wrong to cause her husband to seek the arms of another woman. Wasn't my cooking good enough, what about the kids, how will I tell my parents, we're going to talk to the pastor. Women will involve all important critical parties because of damage control. She will often let the kids know there is a problem, but will protect them from the fear of their family falling apart.

I have never heard a woman concerned about the size of certain body parts. But, I do know women have body parts enlarged more often than men (in all the times I have talked about marriage that’s the first time I have made that connection). Only concerned that maybe she wasn't attractive enough. Maybe, she let herself go so he sought out a better looking woman. Honestly, men who are cheaters will usually cheat any chance they get...even with a less attractive woman. That's why women will refer to cheaters as dogs!

The pressing issue of an offended wife is the need to know if there is an emotional connection to the other woman. Do you love her? Do you still love me? And, her friends will get involved! Men go it alone after the initial melt down...women gather...and gather...and gather. I have found that women will confront other women more often than men will confront other men.

Women sift through the emotions much better than men in my opinion. The one good thing, if there is a good thing in the messes that adultery creates, I have seen more marriages survive when the husband cheats than when the wife cheats. Because, men who cheat usually aren't looking for anything other than sex. They probably can't make that relationship work either...so they will come back. And, women will seemingly offer another chance.

Finally, don't be dooped into thinking that intercourse is the only act of unfaithfulness. I will never forget the Monica Lewinsky drama. Even though Bill Clinton didn't feel like he was committing adultery, he was...oral sex with other people is sex with other people. That's why it is called oral sex! So you better know what is, is!

People have emotional affairs all the time. Physical touching may never occur, but emotionally you may be seeing someone else. Its called fantasizing!

I will never forget while in Bible college several of us young pastors were discussing whether we would rather live in the Old Testament or New Testament. One of the older men, who had come back from pastoring to get a degree, made an unforgetful comment. He said, " I would rather live in the Old Testament. The only requirement was that I could not commit adultery. In the New Testament, Jesus said, "If we even look at a woman with lust we have committed adultery in our hearts." Even hard looking can get us in trouble.

I believe adultery does not have to be the end of the marriage. But, it will take lots of counseling and accountability to restore trust and all the other emotional hurts involved. A couple of thoughts in conclusion....

* Forgiveness is God's way of dealing with sinful acts. If you choose to forgive and heal the marriage, it cannot be brought up at every given moment and inopportune time.

* Do not try to control or manipulate the guilty party by reminding them of what they did (don't throw in their face) because that could push them over the edge, again.

* Forgiveness is not the regranting of trust. Trust must be earned through an accountability process and proven track record. Keep in mind if they messed up once, they can do it again.

I do pray that your marriage will never be wounded by the dagger of adultery. In the event it has, I encourage you to trust the situation into the hands of God. He is concerned about your hurts. You can trust God with your marriage, your hurts, emotional issues and everything involved in your situation.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Ryan Moore Commits to lead Christ-Life Worship!

Good news! We have been believing God for a worship leader! My desire was
a worship leader that was sold out to the cause of Christ, humble, and a
loyal team member. I believe God has provided that in Ryan.

I have known Ryan for several years, but there was no communication for
over three years. He was fasting in TN when God put our fellowship on his
heart. He said he was coming for a couple weeks, but now that he has met
our folks he feels God has called him to Enterprise.

He will be leading music, audio, lighting, and just about anywhere we can
use his giftings. Ryan has worked on television sets and worship teams
for a few years. He is young, but brings a wealth of understanding.

Ryan has already begun building a team and mentoring other musicians. Now, lets believe God for drummer and other musicians.

BEYOND, BEYOND!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Reflections on 1st Sunday in New Location

God is so amazing! When I look back over the last couple years, and to see what happened this weekend my heart leaps with joy. To be honest I have no idea where or how to start this reflection.

Over the last couple weeks we have made preperation to move into a permanent location. That alone was exciting, but to see what God did in our service was overwhelming.

For the last several months we have met in parks, restraunts, other churches, and homes. Really never knowing where we would be from week to week. We watched as our attendance dwindled, finances depleted, and spiritual life became difficult. In my mind I remember it seemed like all we had left was five little kids...that got on the van...and sat in the middle of my floor. For some reason I remember that day...it was around the time that I decided to quit. It was also the day that the bus kids sat on my floor and poured their hearts out in worship.

There have been days that it seemed like noone was left and then there were days I can remember sharing the message at my house with people actually laying under the table to listen.

First, I want to thank all of you who dared to believe...who hung in there...and was willing to endure the hardship of the past couple years. I know it was hard on you. My heart is humbled by your desire to keep our church together. I am more convinced than ever that God is right in the middle of all we are doing.

Several of you came and shared in the diligence of preparing our new place of worship. Some were there for hours...skipping family time...working when you could have been resting...painting, prepping, pruning, practicing, and more!

Then it was finished...we called a time of prayer...we locked the door in anticipation of who is going to come. As 10AM rolled around I felt like the big game was about to take place...I was actually nervous...I felt like I had hit the lottery...but better! I told myself if there's 5 people...I'm preaching like there's 5000...other than the ministry team...the first couple to arrive was first time visitors, then the van pulled up out front, then those who had not been in a long time, then those who worked all week...and I realized it was on..it was happening...we were coming to worship together...

Ryan hit the first note...the presence of God invaded the place...we all worshipped standing at the foot of the cross...my wife and her beautiful voice like the sound of an angel...our friends of 10 years...the elders with the pride of knowing we had just made a huge step...a nursery to keep the kids...announcements of things to come...a message that has been transforming my walk with Christ...and a final point preached by the Father and orchestrated by the Holy Spirit....

You can follow the series on www.christ-lifechurch.com...but I have got to tell you what happened that brought me to tears. I shared a message on Trust. The theme was no shame in trusting God. I let the congregation know they could trust God with anything...good or bad. I am concluding my messge...I am about to tell the church I am trusting God to build and add to our church...when just as I begin to say it (keep in mind I am at the end of my messge)...8 people walk in that Justin had invited at a gas station... I literally broke down in tears...almost the entire crowd came forward to trust God...many had hands raised, families praying together, tears were rolling, the saints were ministering to each other, and God was moving!

The wild thing is...I'm already nervous about what God might do this week...the anticipation is incredible...the excitement is back and stronger than ever...the pieces are coming together...its beyond what i thought it would be. God is so good! And if I may steal a line for Kurt Warner, "Thank you Jesus!"

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Final Schedule

WOW! You have been awesome! Christ-Life is blowing me away with their hard work, love and fellowship! We could not have done it without our volunteers. It really means alot to see you guys so committed to the vision. This will make an eternal impact...you watch!

Just wanted to give a semi-official schedule for the rest of the week. I have to work the next couple of evenings so I will really need your help!

Thursday:
1:00 PM - Administrative Team, Technical Team and Heavy Lifting Team (anyone available would be great)
7:00 PM - Technical team and Heavy Lifting Team (if you can only make one or the other please be here for stage construction).

Friday:
10:00 AM - Heavy Lifting Team (Need someone to pick chairs in Elba), Cleaning Team, Room Assembly...Lets be ready by Friday @ 5PM.
6:30 PM - Musicians Only!

Saturday:
10:00 AM - Need everyone...finishing touches!
5:00 PM - Sunday Service Walk Through
7:00 PM - Prayer!

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Super Bowl Outreach!




If you know someone who loves football, food and fun who is not living for Jesus this is your chance to reach out to them. We are having a Super Bowl Outreach at my house on Super Bowl Sunday @ 6 PM. Lots of food and fellowship! Its important that you bring an unchurched friend as we will share the gospel at half time of the game.

If you came to the Alabama party...you know it was huge. So invite those same friends and this time we will share Jesus. Please RSVP.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

My Baby Girl!

A couple weeks ago, while deciding to move into our new location a wonderful thing happened in my life. Laurie and I were sitting at an auction when she received a text that blew our socks off.

It went something like this...hey, saw some kids that used to come to church, told them we are getting a new building with a childrens church...they were all excited!

Next text...then I thought we didn't have anyone to lead childrens church...so, I thought about it, and I will do it.

Awesome, someone saw the need...the importance of the need...had a gift and took a huge step forward. So, our second sunday open Febuary 14th, we will be opening our childrens church.

Oh yeah, that person was my baby girl, Brooke. An elementary education major at Troy University. I think it will look great on a resume...working with children while working on her degree. Anyone who knows Brooke...recognizes almost immediately her leadership ability.

Laurie and I are both really proud of her hard work and commitment to Christ!

Gotta go.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Voluteer Team Listings!!! Go Team!!!

Sunday was so sweet...I really felt the presence of God in service! So thankful for all the people who have volunteered to be part of our work week to prepare the new building. Laurie and I went and just kinda walked around last night...we are so excited! I thank God for what He has done.

Please check emails, twitter and my blog on a regular basis as I will let you know when we need your team. If you didn't sign up please feel free to come help!

FEBRUARY 1, 2010: OUTSIDE TEAM & ROOM ASSEMBLY TEAM 1:00 pm til Dark Thirty
Bring: Flat Head Shovels, Pressure Washer, Hedge trimmers, chain saws, blowers, rakes, Wheel Barrels, Sanders, Paint brushes, pulling chains

HEAVY LIFTING TEAM BE ON STAND BY!

OUTSIDE TEAM: Tony Dubose, Dewayne Morris, Matthew Martin, Brandon Goodyear, Eddie Fortner, Logan Fortner, Nia Morgan, Jamey Fortner, Debbie Dubose, Mr. Swasey, Chris Lindley, Sandra Grant

CLEANING TEAM: Laurie Shroades, Logan Fortner, Halie Fortner, Barbara Morgan, Stacey Johnson, Shelia Fortner, Jayden Stevens, Mary Young, Nia Morgan, Glenn Young, Brooked Shroades, Victoria Delvalle

TECHINCAL TEAM: Matthew Martin, Justin Swasey, Tony Dubose, Dewayne Morris

ROOM ASSEMBLY: Laurie Shroades, Shelia Fortner, Mary Young, Mr. Swasey, Victoria Delvalle, Halie Fortner, Brandon Goodyear, Nia Morgan

HEAVY LIFTING TEAM: Mike Shroades, Logan Fortner, Mr. Swasey, Jamey Fortner, Jayden Stevens, Van Johnson, Brandon Goodyear, Chris Lindley

ADMINISTRATIVE TEAM: Mike Shroades, Barbara Morgan, Brooke Shroades, Shelia Fortner, Nia Morgan, Debbie Dubose

PRETTY TEAM: Mike Shroades, Barbara Morgan, Nia Morgan, Mr. Swasey, Chris Lindley, Halie Fortner, Victoria Delvalle, Jayden Stevens